sicklylad

It's been a long time, but I thought I might actually make an attempt at keeping a journal.
So I'm down in San Diego, taking a break from things, staying with Matt, who's off at school at the moment. We were up late last night - went out to decent (and really inexpensive!) bar to have some drinks, chat and play pool. It was a good time, even though their jukebox was violently mediocre. Got back, felt kinda out of it and sad. I dunno. I ended taking a brief walk: Matt lives in a very residential area of La Jolla, so, I just walked down the hill and back again. I think I bothered to put on a tie and and a button-front (unbuttoned) sweater vest thing that matched my pajama pants. I was already in a dress shirt, as usual, but I didn't bother to put on shoes or anything, so, I'm glad to discover this morning that I didn't get any cuts or blisters, for it was an unfamiliar area, it was dark, I was drunk, etc.
Earlier in the day spent a fair amount of time around the beaches/coves of La Jolla. Did some tide-pooling with Matt and Nicole.
Yeah, my friend/ex-girlfriend from a couple years ago came down from LA to visit Matt and me. Left yesterday. It was nice seeing her. We did some beach strolling ourselves, whilst Matt was studying physiology, then we ended up at a really swanky bar that cost a lot more than we expected. But It was nice to get a couple martinis and ramble about things to a sympathetic ear.
We visited the same cove I went swimming in two years ago with Matt and his twin, Julia. That experience still amuses me, because prior to coming to La Jolla I had spent a week in Santa Fe, and had shared a hotel room with my younger sister. She was constantly watching Shark Week programming on a the discovery channel. Then, only days later, I find myself swimming off the coast of San Diego, exploring some sea caves, sharing the water with a good number of sea lions. At one point I dive under water to leave a cave I'm in via a small submerged hole. I kick my leg a spot to soon, and cut my ankle on the rock. So,  back outside the cave, in the Pacific ocean,I find myself swimming around, bleeding, in the immediate company of a colony of sea lions / shark food. No real danger, and everything was fine, but after a week of seeing shows about sharks, I was fairly amused at the extent to which it was potentially an extremely reckless thing to be doing. That was years ago, though. Yesterday we kept fairly dry, and primarily focused on walking and talking, etc.
Matt tells me that his mother is slightly worried about me. Apparently I seem depressed, which is true enough, but also something about my skin colour looking off to her. I've actually been eating pretty well, but I have generally had diarrhea for the past week or so. Too much stress is my guess - I'm all nerves, and food tends to just get rushed through me too quickly. Not sure why my body is so opposed to nourishment, but that seems to be the case, despite my best efforts.
In other news, I came down with a sudden urge to make music after hearing the recent release by Usedtobecool. There 2009 album 'The Independent Fallacy' makes me really happy. It's breakcore/IDM type stuff, but with more classical instrumentation, a bit like Venetian Snare's Hungarian album. But not so Jazzy. The first track actually reminds me of Death in June, slightly, (albeit with more breaks), not that I actually expect anyone to know who that band is... but pshaw! Perhaps it's only the bells sampled by Usedtobecool in the track My Soul in a Sock are similar to those used by Death in June in the titular track of their 1989 album Wall of Sacrifice. Anyway, there's a chance that my friend might have to put up with me me making some terrible and un-listenable, classically-informed breakcore type music soon. Is it okay to mix violins and ragga?
Okay, that's enough for now. I'm alive and well-ish.
I think I might actually go swim in the ocean today. I leave San Diego tomorrow.


PS: you can download Usedtobecool's most recent album for free, legally, here.

Kenneth is going a bit crazy. Things just get overwhelming, and it often proves difficult to manage the lot.
I should be finishing with UCSC within the next two weeks, which is both exciting and scary. It also means I have far too much writing to do at the moment. Besides academic nonsense, however, other issues keep on popping up. Some of them are ancient, such as my father's general plan to drink himself to death. Some are more recent but still nothing new, such as the depressing likelihood of my mother loosing her house. And some issues are brand-spanking-new, like my little sister having started to get seizures. additionally, people are dying - albeit people I'm not close too. Regardless, I still generally experience it in some manner when my loved-ones become bereaved... I'm not completely numb to their loss and sadness and whatnot.
I got way too drunk last night... but one of those amazing drunks where I not only black-out and vomit etc, but also handle stain removal, laundering, showering, etc. A rather confusing hungover afternoon waking with me realizing/finding-out that since someone (not me, actually) accidentally poured wine down the inside of my sleeve last night, I treated the stain and separated out the rest of my dirty whites so as to run a load of laundry at some godawful hour of the morning. Other highlights of waking involved me not knowing where my tooth brush was, because I apparently left it in the shower, having thoroughly cleaned-up before bed.
I'm also not very sure of whats going one between Bunny and myself, but I expect our craziness is more due to external stressors, and not actually an issue between the two of us. I know we're still disgustingly smitten with each another, and all that good stuff. Well, I hope so, because I don't wish to end up some depressed and lonely alcoholic hiding away in a crummy bedsit with itchy trousers and broken teeth.
ramble ramble ramble.... I should be doing schoolwork.
Basically, please send encouraging mumbles my way, as I'm somewhat in need of them at the moment.

 I went sailing today, and then I went out for milkshakes with Bunny and some housemates. Because it's January, and therefor all warm and sunny and nice out. No real wind for sailing, but it was only my first class, so, not too big of an issue. We'll have plenty of time in the future to practice with more wind. Now to practice more aerial silks!

 Kenneth: I was going to put on some music you wouldn't like and put away some laundry.

Bunny: Which music?

Kenneth: Mmm.. Lynyrd Skynyrd?

Bunny: You mean the helicopter guy? 'cause no, I wouldn't like that.

Kenneth: umm... you're thinking of Karlheinz Stockhausen? Lynyrd Skynyrd did Sweet Home Alabama and Freebird.

Bunny: I don't like Sweet Home Alabama either.